overheard at the bar

by Rob Salmond

A naive young brunette is drinking imported beer and jotting down a few words in a journal at my local dive the other night when a greasy guy ten years her senior sits down next to her and they begin to talk.  I catch snips of wide eyed liberal, second-year-of-college type chatter when the conversation turns to vegans.



her: Oh yes I am a vegan!  How did you guess?


him: Just a hunch I suppose.  I heard a funny story about a vegan PETA lobbyist who was trying to get Ben & Jerry's to stop using cow milk in their ice cream.  He said to them, "would you subject human mothers to the kind of treatment the cows who provide your milk receive"?


her: giggles


him: Well the Ben & Jerry's people said, "But breast milk is for baby's, it's an unfair comparison."  So the lobbyist simply replied, "you're right, and cow milk should be for baby cows."


her (completely serious): Wow, so what happened?  Did they start using breast milk instead?


me: Bartender, another double over here.